Night Terrors
by domina tempore
Summary: Castle knew he'd crossed a line, and that later she would make him regret it. But he wasn't as concerned with her feelings at the moment as he was with her life. Belated birthday gift for Jden556!


**Castle: **_Night Terrors_

_Disclaimer: Castle and all of its characters, locations, etc. belong to their respective owners; I'm just borrowing. No copyright infringement intended! _

_Author's Note: Belated birthday present for the lovely **J**__**den655** on twitter/Psychfic *hugs*. When I asked what she wanted, she said "Castle and Beckett driving through the mountains at night to escape her sniper", or something to that effect. This is the result of such requests. Hope you like it, dear! *hugs again*_

_Also, huge thanks to **Diner Guy** and **Kkarrie** for looking it over for me while I was writing! Any mistakes are mine that I made after they looked at it; anything right is because they fixed it ;)._

**ovovo**

"I still don't understand why we have to do this," Beckett complained from the passenger's seat, glancing back through the rain-streaked window towards the city. But the lights of New York had long since faded as Castle navigated the car towards the mountains.

"Because," Rick risked a second's concentration to focus on Kate instead of the slick road, "the guy who tried to kill you is back to finish the job. It's not safe for you to be in the city right now." He noted her shaking hands, and the fear in her eyes that belied her frustration. Feeling vindicated, he turned his eyes back to the road as he continued, "I'm sorry, Kate, I'm with Gates on this one; until further notice, we are off the grid."

"I should be helping to catch this guy," she insisted; but there was no real conviction in her voice. She rubbed at her temples. "I should be doing _something_. I _hate_this; I don't run away! I need to see this through."

"You're staying alive, and keeping you that way until Ryan and Esposito catch him is more important right now than you feeling useful."

"How can I live with myself if I run from this?""I'm sorry, would you rather get _shot _again?" Rick regretted his words as soon as he spoke them. He was way out of line, and he knew it. "Kate, I'm sorry..."

"No, I get it," she said softly, her voice dull.

"Kate..." he glanced over at her, but she had twisted as far as her seat belt would allow so that her back was to him. Deliberate. Final. Rick bit back a curse at himself, re-positioned his hands on the wheel. She probably hated him now. Almost definitely. And this time, he could hardly blame her.

They drove in silence for a while.

A quiet sniff from the passenger's seat stole Rick's attention from the road once again. His partner was nothing but a silhouette in the dark car. A shadow whose whole body was shaking, and whose hands were raised to muffle sobs. The guilt that had just started to ease slammed into him again, bringing a bitter taste to his mouth.

With a sigh, he pulled the car to the side of the road. Beckett straightened up as he killed the engine, scrubbing at her face. "Why are we stopping here?" she asked with a thick voice. "I thought you rented a cabin. Do we have to hike to it?"

Rick chose to ignore her question. Instead he reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Are you okay?" No answer. "Look, I'm sorry I was out of line before..."

She let out a strangled laugh. "You think that I care?"

That took him aback, and the writer was reduced to scrambling for words. "Then what...why...why are you...?"

"What do you want me to say, Rick?" she demanded, swinging her tear-streaked face around so she could meet his eyes. "Do you want me to say that I'm so terrified I can barely breathe? That I still have nightmares every time I close my eyes of the second that that bullet hit my chest, is that what you want to hear?" Her voice caught. When she finally continued, she'd turned hard as stone. "Is that what you want?" she repeated.

Castle wasn't entirely sure what had just happened, but he knew that she'd been pushed too far and snapped. At another time, in another place, he might have attempted to test her limits further. All of that, however, was before. Before a lot of things, but most importantly the shooting. He still hadn't quite been able to grasp how it had screwed with her mind; and while most of the time he wouldn't even admit it to himself, _that _scared _him_. He didn't like not knowing what to do, or how to help her.

He realized that he had been staring at her, searching for a reply, for far longer than was appropriate; from the look in Kate's eyes, he wasn't going to find an acceptable response right now, anyway. He wasn't sure that there even _was _an acceptable response. He settled for putting the car back into gear and driving on. "We'll be there soon," he told her gently. She gave him a stiff nod and turned back to the window. Rick stopped looking for reasons to break the silence.

**ovovo**

_Two thirty-five._Rick yawned. He should go to sleep, he really should. Kate had immediately closed herself into the small bedroom when they'd reached the cabin, and hadn't come out once in the hours since. A few more hours, and the sun would be up; he really might as well rest before then. The couch was comfortable enough, if he didn't roll over in his sleep. But he was still on edge from her outburst in the car, not to mention that being in hiding without a police or military escort didn't really feel very safe. He couldn't shake the uncomfortable feeling that the sniper was out there in the woods somewhere, just waiting for Rick to close his eyes so that he could pounce.

It was going to be a long night.

With a groan, he heaved himself up off of the couch. He wasn't going to get any rest tonight; if he had to be awake, he might as well have the aid of good, strong coffee. He said a quiet prayer in thanks for the stash of goodies that his mother had thrown together when he informed her what was going on – not that he would ever admit to _her_how grateful he was – and located his favorite Italian roast among the other delicious tidbits.

He gave the coffeepot on the counter a skeptical glance, wondering if an outdated machine like that would butcher his precious drink; but he'd made due with crappy coffee machines before. Besides, he'd been lucky to find a cabin out here with electricity. That they even had a coffeepot was itself a minor miracle. With a sigh, he approached the beast and set it to brew.

He was just taking his first tentative sip when there was a creak from the direction of the bedroom. He whirled around, sloshing hot liquid over the side of his mug, to see a hesitant Kate creeping through the door. He took a deep breath and tried to relax, switching his cup to the other hand. "Coffee?" he offered sheepishly.

"Thanks." She selected a mug out of the one cabinet secured above the sink, and poured herself a steaming cupful. "Can't sleep, anyways."

Rick watched her carefully as he doctored his burned hand. She seemed subdued, calmer than before. She'd changed out of her work clothes into a loose, oversizedgray shirt and black leggings, and her no-nonsense french braid had been exchanged for a loose bun at the base of her neck. She looked comfortable, but vulnerable. Rick actually found that look rather appealing on her. She'd put up a lot of walls around herself in the past, and he'd always thought that it would be healthier if she didn't try to be so impenetrable all of the time.

"Did you fall asleep?"

Castle realized that he'd been staring at her, again. He cleared his throat nervously. "Ah, no. I just zoned out for a minute there, sorry."

She gave him a look, and her lips quirked into what he thought might almost pass for a smile. He returned the gesture, and for a while the two of them stood in comfortable silence, sipping at their coffee.

"Thank you," Beckett said suddenly, looking up at him with wide, serious eyes.

"...For the coffee?" he guessed lamely. "I'm afraid that I can't take credit for that; you might thank my mother for knowing how to pack a running away stash."

"Castle, this isn't about the coffee." She set her mug aside, as if to prove this point. "Thank you for, well, _all_ of this; for trying to help me. For not pushing me before, in the car." She shook her head, blinked misty eyes.

"Don't worry about it; you're under a tremendous amount of stress, and I was out of line. I should be thanking you for not shooting me back there."

She made a sound that he guessed was a laugh. "I won't lie and say the idea didn't cross my mind."

"Thank you, then, for not acting on it."

Rick thought that this would be the end of their conversation, so he was surprised when she continued. "I am scared, you know," she said softly. "All of these years, all of the times that I thought it would be okay to die in the line of duty, to give my life for something _worthwhile_... But this is different. I'm not dying for a cause, I'm not saving anybody else. Someone just wants me out of the way." Her voice caught in her throat, and when she finally looked up at him there were tears in her eyes. She looked so fragile that he thought she might break. "I don't want to die, Castle," she whispered. "I really, really don't want to die."

For once in his life, Richard Castle needed exactly no words. Instinct moving him against trained habit, he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her, drawing her close. She shook in his arms, and he felt something warm and wet staining his shirt. He let it be, focusing instead on rubbing smooth, even circles into her back like he always did for Alexis when she cried.

They were still standing there when the sun came up.

_fin. _


End file.
